My Girl...another sad story

It is raining outside, like on that night.

It was 1 am. I was sleeping when the housekeeper at office rang me. She asked me to go to a hospital for a client. I was needed to accompany an incest survivor. My friend drove me to that hospital, and I stayed there until my colleague, her counsellor, came to replace me.

When I was there, she told me that she saw a big monster watches her. I promised her that I would be with her. She held my arm tight, and fell asleep. She was awake few times until she was sure I was with her. We didn’t talk much on that night, but it was the beginning of our deep relationship.

When she woke up, she told me how she felt. She was scared and angry. She didn’t understand why she had to live a horrible life. Was it too much if she wanted to have a loving daddy instead of an abusive one? She never had seen her daddy as a good daddy. He beat her mummy, even when she carried her brother. He hit her and caused her brother mentally and physically challenged. He hit his kids, and he didn’t let his kids play with others. He never said anything good but shouting at them. He didn’t support his family. Her mummy was the breadwinner. She worked like a hell to support the family.

That girl asked me what she had done wrong, why she had to have that kind of daddy. For years, that girl never said anything bad about her daddy. She kept it on her mind and never let go.

That girl was a good daughter. She followed what her daddy asked her to. She always prayed to the Lord, hoping her dad would be a good daddy oneday.

Where the Lord was, she asked me. He raped her for the first time right after she prayed. It was so unjust. She was kneeling, but no one helped her. Lord didn’t listen to me, she said. I didn’t know what to say. The wound was so deep. The anger was there…how could I say…No the Lord is always with you….

That girl was crying, and she swore to her dad. Was it wrong for her swearing to her daddy? Did it make her to be an ungrateful daughter? Was I a lousy counsellor since I let her saying that her dad was a satanic dog? Were we both sinners? I didn’t know. All I knew she was more relaxed after that and she fell asleep a bit later.

It was cheering seeing how that girl survived. Little by little she developed her new self confident. She set new dreams. She told me that she wanted to be a lawyer, like our lawyers. She wanted to help other girls like her. Thanked God, there was a wonderful person who gave her scholarship. She went back to school. She even started dating with a nice young man. He knew everything about her, and he was there to be with her.

That girl even acted as a counsellor want to be for another rape survivor. I was outreaching a 13 years old girl, who carried a baby. Raped by her step dad, and her mummy was furious with her (No…don’t blame her mummy…it was too difficult for her to face the truth).

My girl was with me. She talked to that little girl like her big sister. I watched them, and enjoyed my tea and snacks. The little girl was crying, she said nothing but beat her lips. Tears dropped on her chubby cheeks. She held her handkerchief tights. I was smiling when I saw my girl hugged her. I knew that my girl would be a wonderful lawyer. Yes, she’s bright and sharp enough for that. No doubt about it.

Then I moved to Bangkok. Before leaving, I met my girl and her boyfriend. I reminded her to study well. She said she would. But, life is not as simple as what I dream off. She quitted her study and decided to marry. I was surprised when my colleague (her counsellor) told me. I was disappointed. I was hoping her to be a lawyer. I always believed (and still do) that she would be a great lawyer for abused women and children. But it was her life, I couldn’t say anything. She made her decision, and I hoped it was the best one.

Bangkok, 9 April 2006
For my girl...I will be back soon, wish to see you again with smile on your face.