lipstick and i

Few months ago in Banda Aceh, I asked A, ’What do you think the need of internally displaced women?’ Well, he knew me already so he was alarmed (yup…your face showed it dear, you looked at me with your curious eyes), he said those four basic needs, water, sanitation, shelter and food (what a walking textbook my dearly A was…yeakh). I said, ‘No. It is lipstick.’ And he laughed like a hell.

A, I was serious and you laughed at me. Boo hoo….how could you do that to me L
I was serious. I was with internally displaced women, sitting with them at barracks, chatting and sometimes teasing cosmetic sellers. In my arrogant opinion (if I were humble with a humble opinion, I wouldn’t express my opinion, nor explain my arguments) I really thought lipstick was a basic need of women there.

I asked the seller, what his best selling products was. He told me that it was lipstick, ranging from 5000 to 20.000 rupiahs. I asked the women there, they said that they want to be pretty…wink wink blink blink. They didn’t want their husband find someone else, so they had to maintain their beauty. Indeed lipstick was considered as the simplest make up kit. Just apply a bit of lipstick (sorry, for it wouldn’t be a bit, but lots hehehehe), and you would be fresh, that simple. You don’t need thick foundation, face powder, eye shadow, and so on, just lipstick.

These women told me how beautiful it was when they hubby came home after work. One among them really loved lipstick. She said that her hubby loved when she wears it and he kisses her more. ‘Evie, you haven’t married yet. You don’t know how it is when he just comes home, looks at you smiling, and kisses you like crazy. My husband kisses me like that. He is crazy about deep red lips.’ The rest were laughing at her.

Another woman said that she wanted her hubby to go back to her and their children. She did not want any mistresses, so she had to keep her beauty. It would be unbearable for her to be abandoned by her husband. Life would be a life anymore, stigmatized and pitied by the community. No…that’s not life that a woman wants to have. It would be much easier to wear lipstick, spend some money on it, and smile like heaven to the man. Smart decision I thought.


Then I asked further question, ‘How could you be sure that when you are pretty he wouldn’t leave you? I know some beautiful women who are left by their husband.’ No one answered me. We knew that we live in uncertain life. Why is it more difficult for women to be left? (I am not saying that men cannot be hurt….what I as saying is why it is more difficult) Why women don’t wear make up and keep their beauty for themselves? Why we have to do it for men?

Men…what do you do to maintain your beauty? Why do you say that your wife is not pretty anymore after delivered your babies? Look at you, how could you say your wife is not attractive anymore while your belly is like balloon. Why do you say your wife is not sexy anymore, when you are not either?