Am I Stupid or Plain Arrogant?

A friend came to my cubicle, we chatted a while. She asked me whom I dated with, and I told her that I was single. She didn’t understand why I remained single. She thought that it wouldn’t be difficult for me to find a date (or even dates). I just smiled and said, “Well, thanks for your compliment, but I am single.”

This conversation reminds me to a conversation with an old friend, the one who broke my heart few years ago. Few months ago we chatted. I told him that I just broke up with someone. He told me that I scare Indonesian men. He said that I simply was too strong and patronizing them. So I asked him back,” But you are an Indonesian?!?! And you could stand me.” (We were on and off for few years, then become good friends). He simply answered,” Well I am different. I got what I want so I don’t have to compete with you. And I don’t mind having a bright girl. Indeed I am proud of it.”

Then I recalled another chat with another guy. He told me that he couldn’t beat me. His education is lower than me, and it makes him lack of confidence. I was amazed when he confessed this…a question was (ok…til now) toying in my mind…Should I stop my passion, ignore some opportunities, and slow down to make him more confident? It doesn’t take a genius to find out my decisions.

But then…once I dated to an Austrian. He was a bit older than me. He confessed that if he was younger, let’s say we had the same age, probably he wouldn’t dare approach me. He said that I could make men feel unsecured. Geez I didn’t know what to say. I just smiled, thanked him and walked away.

So, here I am, sitting in my cubicle on the 12^th floor in Jakarta, with bunch of works to do. Remain single and don’t understand men’s way of thinking. Oh well…life is not merely about sex and dating, more to do.