full time angel

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Inner Beauty

Does physical appearance matter? Is it that important? Can't we see and be seen beyond our physical appearance? Since I was small, my mum always tells that none of her daughter can lean on our physical beauty. Mama says that it won't last forever.

"None of my daughters is amazingly beautiful. So girls, you cannot make money and survive with your looks. Some girls might find wealthy men and marry them because of their beauty, but not you. Keep strong, study well and work hard. And, remember, a lady never takes any jewelleries but from her husband." mama says. Indeed I know that I cannot make money and survive with my look. I don't think I can be a model, indeed who wants to hire me as a model?
For years, I never bothered with my physical appearance. I never expected anyone would say,
"Eve, you're gorgeous." nor,"Eve, you're ugly." It's just nonsense.

Until one day on January 2000 when I dated a sweet bloke who was fancied by another girl. She's about 5 years older than me. She came to my place and told me how she was amazed why that bloke liked me more than her. "I am more beautiful and attractive than you are. I don't understand it." she said. I remained silence. Was I upset? Yes I was, but thank to my parent who raised me well and taught me how to respond shits like this one. I simply smiled.
My ex date's friend who knew this situation tried to cheer me up. He told me to be patient,"It's OK little sister. She's just jealous of you. But you also need to know that you have made a wrong decision. You should know that he (my date) likes pretty chicks, and you are not. People might say about inner beauty, but it's just a lie. It's only to cheer up ugly people like you."

I was shocked. I told my clicks about this, well they're gays. These lovely gays smiled at me. My transgender buddy said, "Hey girl, you're the only one who has boobs among us. Cheer up."
One gay friend took me to a mirror. He stood behind me and said," Now look at that mirror. Look at that reflection. How could you believe that stupid bullock? You may not be the most beautiful woman on earth, but you have your own beauty, heart and brain. We love you the way you are, pet."

Thank to my ex date's friend and lovely gay clicks, ever since that night I don't bother when someone says how unattractive I am. When someone compliments me, I say thanks. When someone says I am not pretty, I smile and thank too. I love myself and my life. My body is my temple. It's God's creation and I love it.

You, who are not happy with your physical appearance, believe me. There is inner beauty, just be true to your heart. Ignore some ignorant who cannot see how precious you are. Blessings.

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